Men and women have almost identical erotic fantasies. And it does involve sex with someone completely alien. A handsome mechanic, mailman, pizza delivery boy or a policeman in the case of women; a promiscuous prostitute, a woman at a bar or a nurse in the case of men – are just some common examples. Other fantasies may involve sex in public and dressing up.
There is nothing better in a relationship than fulfilling each other’s fantasies. It builds a relationship and satiates the carnal desires of both partners. Also, when the initial euphoria in a relationship fades, and sex becomes boring, it’s easy to start fantasizing about someone else. This, obviously, is not healthy for your relationship. Role play can help you fill that gap.
But how do you really begin without cracking up at the idea of your partner portraying another character?
We share with you a few tricks to master the art. Trust us, these will work and in no time, you’ll be playing dress-up.
Talking about sexual preferences is awkward, which is why it requires deep intimacy and trust of the partner. To make it easier for you to start a conversation on this topic, make sure that your lover feels part of the whole enterprise. Start a discussion about your sexual desires and gradually incorporate erotic fantasies into it.
Improvise your fantasies
Ask your partner about dress-up or what costume would make them the most excited. Researchers at the University of Michigan found that fantasies alone triggered increased production of testosterone in women, which immediately increased her desire.
Raise your partner’s interest, but do not be intrusive. Consent is a must, in this case willingness and interest to experiment with role play is important too. The pressure kills the excitement.
Describe your fantasy
Focus on who you want to be, where you want to meet, how you want to behave and how you want your partner to behave, what you want to do and how you want to end the fun. These details will also help you convey to your partner, without any embarrassment, what excites you and what you dream about.
Write your script. The more details you specify, the more confident you will feel in a given game. If you do not know what to do, you’ll easily fall out of the role. However, if you have a fixed plan of action and a script, you will be able to play your part better. Practice it. It may be funny or awkward for a couple of times but you’ll soon be able to cash on its benefits too.
Get some standard sex goodies that are suitable for every role play. Costumes, handcuffs, blindfold, vibrators, the list goes on. You can also shop for sensual body oil and a good water-based lubricant.
Set the rules
Very often we resist baring it all out for the fear of being mocked at. To avoid such fears, compliment each other. In the first few instances, you might find it funny. However, don’t mock at your partner – not that night nor the morning after. Also, if you are planning to try something more intense, choose a stop word to avoid any discomfort to your partner. Who knows, playing a stern teacher and a student may, for example, recall a trauma, and the role of a perverted boss may be relatable to a survivor who is actually abused at work.
Keep the secret
Now it’s time for a positive reinforcement. Next morning, tell each other how great it was at night. Don’t begin a logical analysis of the night – leave this point, allowing memories to wind you up slowly for the next game. Fantasies make us stay in the realm of dreams, away from everyday routine. If you begin discussing them in detail or practice them too regularly, their charm will disappear.
In other words, do not be greedy. Patience will pay off.
Set the time for fun
If you mark the days on the calendar in which you intend to implement one of the scenarios, you will be excited by the idea that this day is coming. You can make a new scenario every time, and you can go back to the old story, continuing the adventure of alternative lovers who live in an alternative reality and start the scenario where it was last interrupted.
Gradually raise the bar
What started with dressing up can lead to many more creative experiments in bed. Sharing secrets – especially the naughty ones – is a powerful aphrodisiac. Use it. You can ask her to wear the sexiest underwear she has, or lead a lewd conversation on the snap chat when you are apart. The urge to fulfil fantasies can dare you to play more boldly. The small steps method works well when you are trying to master the role play game.
What limits you is your imagination
Let go of your reins and get carried away with a good time. And do not be ashamed under any pretence! Enter the world of role play, unapologetically and unashamed. Good luck!