The single best thing about coming out of the closet is that nobody can insult you by telling you what you’ve just told them.”
? Rachel Maddow
It was around 9 pm that I was sitting with my laptop and doing some office stuff. I face some issue and shuts the laptop. I was at my Pishi Badi ( daddy’s sister) and was waiting for sumptuous dinner to be served. Pishi serves the dinner and me along with an uncle, cousin brother and cousin sister finishes the dinner licking every last morsel out of the plate.
Me: “ Bubai ( cousin brother’s name) please bring your laptop:
Bubai: “Yes I am bringing”
Me: “Get me the internet connection as well, I need to check Orkut too”
Bubai: “Take this dongle, the net is on”
Cousin hands over the laptop to me and I start surfing the internet. After a while, there are some chat windows opens up automatically flashing the displays of all the previous chats. To my dismay, all the chat windows were different than “normal” chat windows. I hesitatingly click one of them and reads the chats and quickly hovers over all the chats. I knew I had crossed the limits but curiosity is something which cannot be controlled when the mind is exponentially working to find more! All the chats had one thing in common, all were sexual in nature and the pings were from only males!
Mom: “Listen, your cousin brother is getting married and you need to come for the marriage”
Me:” I will try but can’t assure you now, and please don’t force me”
It’s been 4 years after the incidence that my cousin brother was getting married. His marriage news like bolt from the blue. I could not digest the fact he was getting married to a girl! The chats flashed my mind and somehow I could not get over it. With lots of difficulties, I accepted that he might have been a bisexual. I got in touch with all the cousins to understand their opinion about this marriage. I was desperately looking for clues at-least one clue which I can use for a sane debate with my uncle and aunty to prevent the marriage. Alas! Luck was not in my favor in providing any hint.
It must have been around the past 6 months I saw a ping in my facebook messenger. To my surprise, it was my cousin brother’s wife ping. We exchanged normal greetings. Let us call her the wife. The wife sounded very distressed and sad. After a little coaxing, she vomited her ordeal yes her traumatic marriage ordeal with my cousin brother Bubai.
Wife: “Sutapa Di, you are also married hence I am asking this question “
Me:” Yes Wife please go ahead”
Wife: “ When you make love with your husband , does he speaks continuously on the phone with any male?”
Me: “No, never”
Wife:” Before every penetration does you husband uses any lubrication”
Wife: “ Does your husband sleeps with any male share bed when you are not there at home”
Me: “No never”
I hear a faint fragile shaky voice which had already broken down from inside. The pain was immense and the sense of betrayal tremendous. Yes, the wife had been betrayed. The societal pressure led to the marriage and with no support from the law even when that point of time which was not in favor of the LGBT community then. This does not take away the sin my cousin committed, he could have refused the marriage or any future marriages. It takes lots of courage to accept the inner demons and facing it.
It’s been 5 years that my cousin got divorced. What angered me was when the cause of divorce was filed against the wife citing her as a nymphomaniac female and shamelessly my cousin said this to my uncle and aunty. I did not have any proof to counter this argument with them but luck was in my favor this time.
One night I receive a call from my ex-boyfriend. We were mature adults and did not lose our friendship. He calls me and says
BF: “Sutapa, ask your cousin not to stalk me”
Me:” Which cousin and what you are talking about”
BF: “ He sent lovemaking and sexual messages”
Me:” Who “
BF” Your brother Bubai”
My ex-Bf send me the message’s which Bubai had been sending him for a while! Finally, I have the proof to show it to my uncle and aunty and prove the innocent Wife was never the reason for the divorce but their own son!